Hi Friends,
I don't know about you, but I have been feeling the blues lately. Just me? I've been trying to take a deep look into what is causing these low feelings. To be honest at first I thought it was because my 40th birthday was fast approaching, I mean, 40 is a big deal and I thought maybe I was grieving the loss of opportunities to celebrate in a big way since we're stuck at home these days. A few months ago I was dreaming of a weekend getaway with my guys (that's what I affectionately call my husband and two sons, my guys or my three guys) to an Airbnb on the coast, but obviously that wasn't in the cards right now. I had accepted weeks ago the fate of a lack luster birthday and was fine with it. I knew my guys (and family and friends) would do everything they could to make my day special (AND THEY DID!! I even convinced my boys to watch Grease with me, a treasure! I don't get to do many girly things around here!) So why was I feeling so down these last couple of weeks? I mean come on, I was turning 40 and have the gift of being able to understand and comprehend the state of the world right now. I'm not some child who can't understand why their birthday dreams are being dashed.
It occurred to me that maybe it wasn't just me selfishly grieving the opportunity to celebrate myself, but that maybe this is a common phenomenon right now amongst many or even all of us who are living an altered state of life during this time. I thought that maybe there is a reason that I, and many of the people I know, are struggling with our usual zest for life and motivation. Think about it, not only are our lives drastically different with things ever changing and evolving, but also we are confined to very few forms of activity. Here in Texas we can get out and exercise outdoors, thankfully, and the state parks have now reopened, but aside from that, we're home. Going to the grocery store if you are brave enough to go (I choose curbside pickup as my contribution to flattening the curve) is different. When I do venture out to pick up my groceries I see people walking into the store masked and gloved, as others go to line up 6 feet apart and await their turn to enter the store. It's such a surreal experience as I'm sure you can agree. So it stands to reason in my mind that maybe more people are experiencing these same feelings of lack of motivation and drive, or are feeling more tired than usual. I notice my kids, who are both typically very early risers, have been sleeping in later (still not late, but later) then usual.
A quick google search tells me that this is perfectly normal. Most people are experiencing some form of the blues to varying degrees. Depending on your life circumstances right now you might not just be confined to your home, but your financial status could be drastically different and that is an added contribution to this sadness. So what can we do to help boost us up and allow us to preserve our mental health and invoke more feelings of joy?
FIRST I would say give yourself grace. If your house isn't as clean as usual or you aren't working out as hard as you usually do it's okay. This is a season. This will not last forever. On chop.com there is a great article on giving yourself self-compassion and why it's important especially right now. I loved this quote by Kristin Neff, PHD referring to how you treat others
"Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don't like about yourself."
I am finding a lot of comfort in giving myself grace.
SECOND, feed your body nutritious food. I have found myself reaching for junk food much more frequently lately and being a little more relaxed about some of the type of food we keep in our home, and I notice that it is not helping. Sure, in the moment eating that ice cream or frozen burrito (hey don't judge me I'm bearing my soul here!) makes you feel good. You feel a bit satisfied, but then the guilt sets in and that doesn't even start with what it's doing to your body, and I will just say that the junk food isn't helping. So continuing to, starting to or restarting to feed your body good nutritious food is going to make a world of difference. There is a lot of science about the relationship between your fuel and your brain. An article from Harvard does a beautiful job of talking about how "premium fuel" and "regular fuel" have different effects on your insulin, serotonin inflammation, and how that all contributes to your overall health and mental health.
THIRD I would say reach out to somebody. Connect with people. I am lucky that I'm surrounded by my three guys always. Yet I have found myself longing to socialize with friends and have been texting, Marco Poloing and zooming to feed those connections. It is human nature to have a need to connect on some level with other humans. I was reading on Psychology Today and it said,
"Research shows that our levels of stress and fear are often reduced when we are not alone."
This makes perfect sense to me. I know many of my loved ones have expressed similar feelings about a need to connect with people during this time of pandemic.
FOURTH Find tools that will help you manage these feelings. I find that for myself personally getting outside and getting exercise and vitamin D help tremendously, I find that taking time to meditate is also a source of comfort and helps me clear my head for a time and breathe. I really enjoyed reading this article on the Huffington Post. It talked about using meditation and exercise to keep your anxiety at bay. At one point they mentioned,
"We often overlook that exercise can also be a treatment for anxiety, stress and depression."
There are countless sources and I find it true in my own life, if I skip too many days of exercise and meditation I feel the anxiety creeping in and I find it hard to manage.
These are my top four suggestions. Start with one or two or all four, but start and see if you can have some relief. Once I started trying to focus on my mindset those feelings of the blues started to dissipate and I started feeling like myself again. I'm not perfect at it everyday, but when I find myself being caught up in the blues if I stop and make a concerted effort towards these four areas I start to feel better and I hope you will too.
